is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Also, beer. Big fan.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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