i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
they need to just BURY HIM!
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
