I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
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