Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
