I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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