i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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