Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize