There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
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The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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