Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
