Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
