the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Randomize
