OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
