and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize