the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
