I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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