he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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