We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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