I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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