So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
