I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
i out mim tonsoeep
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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