Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
