if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
are you so shy because you have an std?
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
