dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
