You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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