how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
