C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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