Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
