Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
My orgasm happened in two different decades
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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