I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize
