I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
