About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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