You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
