she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
this hospital has no fireball
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Randomize
