chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
They took my balls.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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