I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
