jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so that wasnt chicken after all
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I need to sanitize my soul.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
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