so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
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So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
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I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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