Hey man sorry I got all grabby
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
