It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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