Will you blow on my dice?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
