People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
