hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
