I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
