Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize
