last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
