meet me or not, i'm out of control
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
