i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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