belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize