what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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