Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
Randomize
