She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
