How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
