I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
