remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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