You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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