Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
