I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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